The End Is Here...The End Is Beautiful

Dear friends,

Tonight, I am writing my last post as the Adventurous "Unemployed" College Grad.

I know that I haven't updated consistently since I lived in Korea, but this post officially ends my blog. The fact that I don't feel the NEED to write anymore leads me to believe that I'm more able to cope with the changes in my life than I was when I graduated college - which means I no longer need to use this tool to do that. I'm so grateful that I have a record of my life during this transition. I will miss having such great details of everything! But I don't want to write if it feels like work and like I'm always playing catch-up - which is currently how I feel about this project, and how I've felt for about 9 months. I will fill in a few blanks as I can (including posts from my last few days in Korea), but I don't plan to write any more new updates.

The other reason that I feel it is an appropriate time to end this blog is that there are a lot of fantastic things happening right now for me...things I did not have when I started writing:

• Today, I celebrated 1 year at Towsley! I'm so lucky to enjoy my job so much, to have the opportunity to continue learning about teaching, to work with such amazing and diverse people, and to be located so "close" to most of my friends and family. I'm looking forward to at least 2 more years here and I really appreciate that I can say that with a good amount of certainty.

 

• I have been in my new downtown Ann Arbor apartment for 10 days and I love it! I'm 400 feet from the Farmer's Market, 2 blocks from Zingerman's, 6 blocks from church, 6 blocks from my favorite places on Main St., 9 blocks from my dance studio, and a 10-minute drive to work. I have a dishwasher, AC, basement storage, space for visitors, and 2 fabulous roommates - and all of my stuff fits perfectly. I hope to stay here until I move out of Ann Arbor :)

• Tomorrow will be one month with Nate...yes, I, Emily Palmer, officially have my first boyfriend, at the age of 25 - and I'm so excited! He is sweeter to me than all the other guys I've been with put together and I'm learning so much about myself, and who I am with someone else. Whatever way it turns out for us, I'm happy right now and will look back on this time with a big big smile.

• Finally, N*SYNC performed at the 2013 VMAs. That's all.

So, this is the end. Thanks for reading!

Love, Emily

Mama, Mama Dear

• Happy Birthday to my mama, my Great-Grandma Dorothy (she'd be 103!) and my cousin Trevor...June 3rd is a very special day for the Bell family :)
• I am realizing that my patience skills are really improving the more I work at Towsley. At first, I thought that I might not be able to adjust - at one point, I was even a little afraid that I might get fired because of my temperament (that was a little dramatic of me). But I can really see a difference in the way I'm working with my kids, especially the most difficult ones. Today, I dealt with one of my girls who cried for about 30 minutes straight...by the time I got her to settle down I could barely remember/figure out what she was crying about. But one of the teachers who'd been working in a room off the hallway we were in came out after and told me I'd done a really good job keeping my cool and handling the situation. There is also a student who asks me for help in difficult situations when we are paired with her class. Yes, she should be working it through on her own, but I do also appreciate that she can see when she needs help (plus the kids in that class can be REALLY difficult). Also, the new teacher in my room told me that she loves how Will (the aforementioned kid who calls me "Ehmu") calls my name at least 3 times when he needs me - that she heard him say my name tons of times today. He is also one of my difficult ones but he is very sweet and I love him. Oh and cute quote from today? Jeremy (one of my other toughies): "Do you like me and Will every day?" Yes, Jeremy, yes I do.
• My kitty is so cuddly and I love her :)

Summer Nights

• Today, the weather gave us a glimpse of summer. I don't really like the heat/humidity combo (thought I know I spent the last few months of winter wishing for it) - but I love the summer nights. When it's been hot and humid all day and the sun sets [beautifully] and the temperature intensity goes away. And you're left with a little bit of a breeze (from Lake MI, if you're lucky), the smells from the restaurants, a view of the stars and the choice to wear shorts or capris. Mmmm :)
• This is infuriating. I'm impressed by the ability of the ATF to get things done. But, as a person who strives to make EVERYTHING work more efficiently and as a person who believes guns are not necessary, I am so frustrated that this is the only way we have to find out who owns firearms in our country. And I'm outraged that the NRA has effectively made it illegal to clean up this system. Seriously, WTF.

Psalm Of Peace

• I played this piece today for bells. We went a lot slower, but I actually liked it better that way - you could hear and appreciate all the parts better. I can't wait til we pull it out again :) And I'm really glad I got back into bells :)

Tandem Bike (May 18)

• I went to a fabulous farmer's market on Saturday! PP and Barbara and I ventured into Chesterton, a town about 20 minutes from where we were staying in Beverly Shores. It was basically like an art fair, with a few more food booths! There was so much to see and the people were so friendly. An older man gave me a sample of fried cheese "crisps" and told me they were 0 carbs. I was like, yeah I don't care about that - he responded with "You don't look like you need to!" And I told him I got it from my mother :) PP asked a woman if the veggie chips she was eating were good and the woman gave her a few to try! And I bought a beautiful spoon handle ring. It was easy to forget all the bad in the world - in politics, in other states, in other countries - and just enjoy the sunshine, art and humanity.
• When we got back, PP and I learned how to ride a tandem bike! It took SEVERAL tries and we about died laughing at least 10 times. It was so much fun. Plus, we eventually got better and did make it down to the beach. Where we then scoured the sand for hours with Ben and Collin to find the perfect rocks to make coasters and little stone feet. It was so much fun and such an organic experience.
• Dad and Barbara cooked a fabulous dinner and we finished the evening by enjoying each other's company and watching the sunset.

Media Blitz

• I ate cookies dipped in pudding tonight while watching Friends, in order to deal with the stress of paying all my bills.
• I'm getting very accustomed to the way we speak to the kids at work (i.e. we tell them "I need you to [do something]" instead of "You need to...", "You have to...", etc.)...so accustomed, in fact, that it bothers me when people don't speak to me this way! Maybe it always has and now I have a concrete way of understanding it. Specifically, tonight, when I asked my bell choir director to direct us through the end of the piece, instead of playing the piano, because there are a lot of tempo changes, she said, "No, you need to hear this part - we'll do that [her directing] on Sunday morning." In my head, I was like, "I do NOT need to hear it - I need you to direct!" It took a lot for me not to yell that.
• My dad gave me some great advice for getting Chloe to stop clawing her way along the bottom of the couch - spray her with water! I did it and it totally freaked her out and she ran away. When she tried to do it again, I just held up the bottle and she ran away. I did feel a little badly but you can't say my cat isn't smart - it only took the one time and she got the concept!
• Also: 11 Reasons Cats Make The Best Alarm Clocks. Chloe does #2 when she's hungry in the morning. And I want a #11.
• I am horrified by the story of the 150+ people killed by a collapsed clothing factory building in Bangladesh today. I am equally angered by the fact that the funeral of the MIT police officer is receiving equal or more media coverage. This is one of several instances recently that have re-frustrated me with US media - others being the threats by North Korea (notice how much coverage that is getting now?) and the Boston bombing. Although these are grave occurrences, they are not unique in our world - just not in our country. I find it almost egotistical that we have dedicated so much publicity and so many violent words (i.e. "bombing" and "terrorism") to the Marathon incident. I feel like doing this seriously diminishes the impact that the earthquake in Iran, the continuing war in Syria and the daily terror in the Central African Republic has on the people in those places. Do our news sources think that the pain of those people is not the same as ours? Maybe not but it sure seems that way a lot of the time. Prayers and thoughts go out to anyone suffering tonight.

Visiting Hours

• Krystle came over for church on Sunday and I'm so glad - it was fabulous to spend time together and she needed a break from Detroit life. When I walked into the sanctuary, I was surprised to see so many people around - usually there aren't that many for the 11:15 service. It turned out to be Youth Sunday! It was great: seniors talked (it sounds like they have a great youth program going), we sang camp songs, the youth acted out the Bible stories, and we laughed a lot. The only part that was weird was the way they sang "Light The Fire" (totally wrong) - but I loved it! And it was fun to share it with Krystle on my left and Mandy on my right :)
• After church and general hanging out with our great friends, Krystle and I decided to head to the Eischeids' for the afternoon! Once we got there, we got out of cars and into theirs...it was time for soccer! Since it was 3-year-old soccer instructed by college girls who seemed to have never worked with children before, it was pretty painful to watch - I just wanted to jump in and help! However, the best part was the little kid who kept running around the field and then roaring at teammates, opponents and parents. It was hilarious! After that, Jen and Andrew said they were taking us out to a birthday dinner! We went to Max and Erma's and the food was really good! Plus we got a free dessert. Krystle ordered cookies and I got "funnel fries" and we shared...mmmmm :) It was fun sitting with the girls and talking with Jen and Andrew. And Katie and Ella kept being sneaky about dessert and saying adorable things that made us laugh. Back at the house, we played a couple of rounds of hide-and-seek, which is actually feasible in their house. Then we helped get the girls ready for bed (took a while) and then hung out downstairs, chatting and watching TV. It was a fabulous Sunday spent with some of my favorite people :)
• I LOVE visiting the Eischeids, in case you couldn't tell. But one thing that overwhelms me a little every time I see them is the complete suburban lifestyle they are surrounded by. Soccer on Sundays; subdivisions with huge houses, just a half mile from subdivisions with BIGGER houses; minivans and/or crossovers everywhere; the lack of racial diversity; the sense of removal from any kind of city and any city issues (i.e. homelessness, poverty, etc.). This week was especially overwhelming with the soccer experience. We were watching 3-year-olds play soccer, on a turf field, surrounded by mostly white people, next to a parking lot full of crossovers and minivans, getting frustrated with the way the college kids were (or weren't) dealing with the kids. I was relieved to know that Krystle felt the same! (Sidenote: I also got the same feeling when I visited PP, in the Chicago suburbs.) Personally, I don't want to "surrender" to the completely suburban lifestyle. I try not to judge people who do. But it does, to me, seem like you are sheltering yourself and your children in this make-believe world of large houses and beautiful schools. Although I see the benefit of this (or, at least, the reasons for doing it) as an effort to protect your children from the craziness of this world, I feel like I would be less compassionate if I were more disconnected from current world events and issues. Maybe that will change if/when I have my own children.

A Second Chance (Apr 20)

• I was on Eastern's campus for a conference today - it was so fun to be back! A lot has changed (read: improved) but I still had tons of memories come flooding back. And it was fun to imagine all the people making memories there now :)
• I gave "500 Days of Summer" another chance. I really didn't like it the first time but I love Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt so much now that I thought I'd try again. I still don't really like it but it's fun to see them acting together and I do relate more to the plot line now. Ah well.
• Tonight was our "Wedding Celebration" at work. Since there are 5 girls getting married this year, it was kind of like a bachelorette party for ALL of them. (People didn't believe us when we said we had 5 brides in our group!) I was actually kind of dreading it thought - I like the people I work with, but I'm not super close to anyone. I thought it might be weird at dinner, and that I might leave soon after that. But when I walked in, everyone was so excited to see me (I think they were yelling obnoxiously to anyone who arrived in our party) and I didn't have a problem talking to people. We had some fabulous food and then moved on to Conor's. We found a section next to a bachelor party. Towards the end of our time there, I had an Irish car bomb with two of the guys in the party. I may not be able to drink beer, but man, I can gulp down an ICB like it's my job :) Plus Korinn, my co-teacher, bought me my drink - it was so sweet. And she, along with a few others, kept asking about my dating life. It was nice that they wanted to know. After Conor's, we went to Habana - so much dancing! It was sooo hot but we had so much fun. One of the 30-something girls was drinking a lot more than we all thought she would and it was fun :) When it was time to leave, we all hugged and I'm just so glad it turned out well. I loved being proved wrong - in this kind of situation ;)

Human After All

• My heart goes out to the people affected by the Boston bombing and the Texas explosion this week, as well as the unnamed fatalities in the Middle East, the Central African Republic and other places around the world. However, I am also deeply affected and saddened by the following stories/events:
• Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl
• Gun Control Legislation Failure
• Coral Reef Deterioration

Sometimes, it's hard to be human :/

• However, I did take a zumba and a jazz class with Nikki, see Jayme, talk with PP, find salad spinners for work at the Salvation Army, and eat Nutella and pretzels for a midnight snack. So, those are good things :)

Drive Her Home (April 13)

• Happy Birthday to my "little" brother, Ben! Although I may have to call him my "younger" brother from now on - because, as he reminds me every time I see him, he's definitely taller than me now :)
• Tonight, I experienced the healing power of driving and angry music. I was super frustrated so instead of driving right back to my mom's, I just kept going. I drove to the end of roads and turned around whenever I ran into a road I knew. This went on for about one hour/50 miles, with Lil' Jon, Flo Rida, T-Pain, LMFAO, Soulja Boy and others blasting out of my speakers. Between that and seeing the clarity of the stars around Mattawan, I felt a lot better. If I hadn't been alone, I would have sat in a field, looking at the stars. But just seeing them out of my window was awesome. I do love that area of Michigan :)

25 or 6 to 4 (Apr 12)

• So I've been 25 for exactly 2 weeks now. And I've figured out my plan for the next year - do whatever the hell I want because I'm not tied down to a husband, family or specific job. I know I'm not going to make any terrible decisions (I like that I can see a difference between my current self and my 21-year-old self...the latter could not be counted on for superb decision-making). I'm attractive, smart, independent and I have a job and wonderful friends - I'm ALLOWED to do whatever I want! Examples of me doing what makes me happy because I can and SHOULD:
• Playing handbells at church - yes, it's a little nerdy, but I love being challenged and practicing reading music again.
• Making new friends - yes, I'm going to make it a point to do this, especially if said new friends prove to be even half as awesome as Nikki and Jayme :)
• Listening to NPR - yes, I'm addicted to NPR. No, I do not need anyone to help me with this addiction.
• Getting to know and becoming more comfortable expressing my views on marriage equality, feminism, and politics.
• Visiting my friends all the time, as much as possible.
• Going out for salsa dancing on Thursdays - even when I work on Friday mornings.
• Getting an Insomnia Cookie on the way home from the library, simply because the store was finally open and DUH it's one block from my apartment.
• Getting a retail job because I can and I enjoy it.
• Still wanting to go to a glow paint club, even though the internet says I'm too old for that.
• Leaving work at work - yes, even though I have to make lesson plans, I am not obligated to bring them home with me :)
• Dating - I know, RIGHT??? But it's going okay right now.
• Buying fuchsia skinny jeans.

Missing Time

• On this day last year, I was having a crazy adventure through Korea to go the Jinhae Cherry blossom Festival. thinking about it makes me want to visit soooo badly. Like quit-my-job-so-I-have-the-freedom-to-travel badly. I miss my friends, the food, the culture, traveling throughout Korea. Everything. (I know that a lot of my posts while I was in Korea were about how much I missed home, so this must sound very hypocritical now - but I can't help it.) For today, I'll enjoy the company of MI sunshine and my kitty and my friends - but I want another adventure.

State of the Art (Apr 6)

• Tonight I got to see my Sara perform with Ancora Open at MCGC States. It was so cool to watch her! (And then to remember what she was like as a freshman :)) She was poised, graceful, in character (important for this particular routine) and made everything look easy. Since she has had 3 coaches since me, I know I can't take ALL of the credit - but I was so happy to know that she was happy and that I had helped teach her to love what she was doing. Plus, afterwards, she said that she was putting a little extra into her performance because she knew I was there - so cute :)
• Interplay Open's show was AMAZING! It was to "Do, Re, Mi" from Sound of Music but it was SO excellently planned and written. Near the end of the song, when each Von Trapp child is singing a different part, they had a different small group running around the floor, doing flag work with a silk that said the note that was being sung. SO COOL! I hope I can find a video online...

Bloom, Lily, Bloom

• Happy April!
• When I'm sitting on my couch, I can smell my Easter lilies. They are about 5 feet from my couch and it's like I'm right next to them :)
• I got invited to buy Mumford & Sons tickets! But for their Berkeley, CA show :/ Can't afford that trip :(
• Carlee helped me fight with Amazon until we got access to the Downton Abbey Season 2 Christmas Special...it was wonderful! So cute and in many unexpected ways. I almost don't want to keep watching because I know season 3 was surprising in a bad way...I don't want things to change!
• And, finally, when one of your former guard girls messages you the following, how can you not smile?

"Emily! Please come to the performance at UofM on Friday. Please, please, please. I want you to see how fantastic your teaching has made me."

Red Hot Salsa (Mar 21)

• Finally went salsa dancing with Jayme and Nikki tonight! They ask/remind me every week to join them but I'm always hesitant because of work on Fridays. This week though, I took Friday off (and I'm headed to Chicago with Anna to see PP!) and on Monday I realized this would be the perfect time for me to go! It was SO much fun! We definitely pre-gamed before we went and that was fun (and necessary) ;) And once we got there, it was great! There were tons of people and a lot knew exactly how to salsa. I danced with a few guys, eventually coming to a guy who was taller than me (I was wearing heels too!!!!) and liked that I was tall. We danced really well together and we definitely exchanged numbers - I can't wait to dance with him again! :D I also met a guy from the Middle East who was very funny and very nice but AT LEAST a head shorter than me - he was very disappointed when I frankly told him that there was no way I could date him, because of the height difference. Just call me a Heartbreaker ;)